Many years ago I was working very hard to achieve certain goals in an area of my life that I had never come close to realizing the kind of outcomes I desired.
Because these goals were so foreign to me I had a lot of self doubt, which only increased as I continued to experience poor results. I felt like I was in a negativity spiral, which unfortunately I believed was contributing to the poor results even before I experienced them.
I started to expect failure and feared the feeling of failure so much that I felt it before I even tried. My entire mindset in this area of my life was skewed towards fear, loss and negativity.
Positive Adjustment
As is often the case for me, I looked to books and education to help me solve this problem. I had a mindset issue that I could deal with through developing how I thought about my results. I would never feel truly confident – congruently – until I experienced the results I was after, but I could certainly work on how I interpreted the small steps I was taking, and the many failures I was experiencing in the present.
In short, I needed an attitude adjustment, a better way of looking at the road I was walking.
Reading certain books or listening to audio materials act as a mental “pep-talk” for me. Hearing from experts and people who have achieved the goals I am working towards really helps. It’s also great to learn statistics from people who have put together large studies, so I come to understand conditions that affect us all, and how I can make smart choices as a result.
One important book that came into my life around this time was Martin Seligman’s Learned Optimism and later his Authentic Happiness book and movement. His studies showed that optimists live longer, achieve more and generally feel happier.
He also revealed that people are born with a natural inclination towards optimism or pessimism, and just like you can’t control whether you are tall or short, whether you default to an optimistic or pessimistic stance is determined at birth.
Seligman did point out that despite your default genetic world view, you can train yourself to become more optimistic. I was encouraged by this and immediately began looking at how I responded to people and events in my life.
Although I can talk a good talk when it comes to being positive and present positivity to people around me, I realized that in general I usually defaulted to a pessimistic interpretation of my life, at least within my head.
Years before I had become an active monitor of my own self-talk as a means to cure my anxiety and panic attacks. I learned that I was responsible for what I was feeling because I spent most of the day in my head berating myself about all the things that were “wrong” in my life. Through the experience of monitoring how I thought, I became quite good at reframing my interpretation of events.
I wanted to take my self-talk analysis to another level and work to change my default response to events from negative to positive, regardless of what the real word results were showing. This is not easy because initially you feel like you are lying to yourself. It’s as if you are trying to convince yourself that things will change and it’s not really that bad, when deep down you don’t believe it.
I found one technique from positivity training to be especially effective. Here’s how it works…
Pessimists see bad things that happen as permanent and pervasive – it will always be the same and an indication of a flaw they personally have.
Every business I build is a failure and doesn’t make money, therefore every business I make will fail in the future and I am thus a failure too.
Where an optimist sees events as temporary and a stepping stone towards positive outcomes. They also see failure as a result of what they did or the environment they did it in, rather than a character flaw or something that is personally wrong with them.
This business didn’t work because my timing wasn’t right. I learned some great marketing techniques building it, which will help me with my next business. I will get better and better and eventually will have a profitable business.
It’s a simple twist, but a powerful one you can apply immediately.
See failures as temporary and an indication of a technique that didn’t work rather than a permanent flaw in you as a person. Know that as long as you keep working, things improve.
What About Feelings Of Failure?
Training myself to become more positive in my interpretation of the world was a good first step, but that didn’t mean I suddenly stopped failing.
I found that I could think better about events, but changing my feelings was particularly hard. Unless I experienced some kind of tangible positive result, I didn’t feel much better.
Worse still, often I might feel better about some kind of positive sign, only for it to fall through. This made me feel jaded and bitter. It’s like taking a step upwards only to fall back again, but this time falling from higher up so it hurts more.
I became especially wary of my feelings because I started to take stock in concepts like the Law of Attraction. The Law of Attraction proposes that the universe is constructed to respond to how you feel and think. What ever you resonate internally, you get back externally. Some people are rock solid devotees of this idea, where others think it is a bunch of hogwash.
Traditionally I’m a fence sitter, but happy to give things a try if it will help me achieve something I am working towards. I was concerned that if I didn’t feel congruent about my positivity I wasn’t really positive, I was just trying to mentally convince myself of something different – to think positive – even if the world wasn’t giving me positive results to make me feel positive too.
I started to wonder whether my feelings were in response to what I was thinking or my thinking was in response to what I was feeling.
Then there are physiological conditions, like for example when I am hungry I’m usually grumpy and thus I think and feel negative. If I eat, suddenly things are all good again.
Surely being happy isn’t just about having a full tummy?
There are many variables at play and understanding that they are all interconnected is important. What became critical to me was staying aware of the state I was in before blaming anything else.
For example, if I am hungry or grumpy because something negative happened, I would stay aware of the reason for my feeling, but not let that feeling take over my entire world view.
This is an important step. Previously I could let one bad result, or missed meal ruin my entire day. I’d spiral into negative thought patterns, berate myself even more and see all of this as some indication of personal failure. Now instead, I saw explanations for conditions as temporary and reminded myself not to let them impact me because they will quickly change.
This may seem simple, but you probably know how easy it is to stay stuck with a negative feeling that takes over your entire day. It can dictate how you interpret everything that happens to you and, if you believe in the law of attraction, can be the cause of why you continue to have a bad day, or week or even month (you resonate negativity and thus attract more of it).
I’ve become very good at letting go of the small things. I still struggle with the physical aspects of life and reframing them – for example when I sprained my wrist falling off my bike I had a week of pretty intense pain and weeks of recovery, which resulted in bouts of depression.
The same goes for the more challenging parts of life like when my mother had her stroke. Some things you are meant to feel sad about of course, but often we give way too much weight to small, transitory events, and let them control our lives.
Cry only when it’s worth shedding tears
Inevitable Outcomes
Optimism, positivity training, the law of attraction, reframing, emotional congruency, all of these concepts came together wonderfully when I heard Eben Pagan teach a fantastic idea he called – “Inevitability Thinking”.
Inevitability Thinking is thinking and acting as if what you are doing is a forgone conclusion because you set up the conditions for it to happen.
Inevitability Thinking is about having the confidence to know that a given outcome is available to you if you do certain things. This is an absolute fact. It has to happen eventually. When and how it happens is impacted by timing, luck and other things you can’t control, but the luck, timing and necessary conditions will occur, given you do what is required.
Once you know the conditions required your only job is to make them a reality. It’s a simple formula –
Study the system -> Implement the system -> Get the result.
Obviously for this to work you need a proven system based on fundamentals that work. You should also look for ways to reinforce the inevitability as you are working. By doing this you hold yourself accountable to tangible results, and you start to see the conditions manifest. Once all the conditions are met, you have your outcome.
For example, while building a blog you might look at the small achievements, like getting your first 50 readers, then 100 email subscribers, and writing your 100th article as signs that you are on your way. You are building the conditions for success and achieving tangible results. Keep doing this and you end up at the top of a success ladder.
Here’s a video where Eben Pagan talks about the inevitability concept…
Eliminate Fear
I love Inevitability Thinking because it immediately removes fear and doubt and negativity and turns what you are doing into a process, a series of steps that when done right, earn you the reward. It’s no longer random, you just need to collect the resources and knowledge necessary, then get busy doing.
Most people when they start something new focus on how foreign everything feels, how lacking they are in knowledge and experience, how afraid they are of failing and all kinds of reasons for not doing it.
With Inevitability Thinking you know from the start that you can achieve what you are aiming for because you know what it takes to make it happen. All that stands in your way is putting in the work. You don’t contemplate failure, or spend time dwelling on all the reasons you can’t succeed. That is a waste of energy.
This might seem like a simple concept, but it’s actually quite hard to master. We are human and have fears and self esteem challenges. Confidence is needed for you to truly think inevitably all the time, and confidence only sets in once you have achievement.
For example, when I think about starting a new blog, I feel very confident it will succeed because I have done it before. I know the process and the only real challenge is setting aside the time to do the work.
However when I start something I have never done before, for example when I decided to do weight training to gain muscle mass, I felt a lot of self doubt. I had tried lifting weights before with no result, and could easily have felt my results, or lack of them, would be the same this time.
Instead of feeling self doubt and negative about my goal of gaining muscle, I decided to commit to a proven system and make my goal to complete the process. By turning my focus to doing the work and completing the training, I gave myself an outcome I knew I could achieve, regardless of any specific weight gain outcome.
Over three months I completed the P90X training program, a proven system from Tony Horton. I gained 10KG as a result of the program, and given I had never gained any weight in my adult life before, I was extremely happy.
It’s important you understand that Inevitability Thinking isn’t blind. You don’t just tell yourself you will succeed, you have to know the principles you are working from work. They are proven laws, which many other people have already used and succeeded with. Your belief comes from knowing the process works and is reinforced every day as you slowly build up the conditions required for success.
Start With What You Can Control
If you lack confidence now, the smartest thing you can do is learn a process for what you are trying to achieve, then implement it.
It’s important to begin actions as soon as possible so you can learn from real testing, not assumptions (try lean testing). If you don’t start getting some kind of result, good or bad, then often your emotions will kill your chances (too much thinking and not enough doing).
Confidence ultimately comes only from actions. You use Inevitability Thinking to keep your mind on task, rather than pondering silly things like how other people are better than you, or how you have never done this before, or how you failed last time.
This keeps your emotions in check, makes you focus on positive outcomes and gets your energy flowing in the right direction. Everything is congruent.
In the end the only thing you can control is how you think about, and thus interpret, everything that is going on around you. Why would you use this power of perception to focus on things that don’t help you? That’s what I call crazy.
Learn How To Think Better…
If you are struggling to get results, nothing seems to work and you feel your blog is going nowhere, I suspect your biggest issue is how you think and how you act.
The next level of training I offer for bloggers who are just getting started or who have struggled for a while is my Master Your Mindset: Productivity And Mindset Training For Professional Bloggers e-guide package.
I honestly believe you must get this issue resolved or you will NEVER succeed. The same mental stumbling blocks and poor patterns of behaviour will kill your chance of success no matter what you are working on, how hard you work or how good your intentions are.
There is a reason why certain people succeed even when they start with no education and no experience. It has everything to do with their attitude and willingness to improve. This guide will give the necessary insights and productivity hacks so you get results quickly.
Inside the guide you will learn:
- The 3 core principles that govern everything I do, including a detailed breakdown of how to apply the 80/20 Rule, Theory of Constraints and The Sprint Technique (Pages 10 to 28)
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- My story of how I made a million dollars online, including the key steps to get to this big goal yourself. It won’t happen over night, but there is a process you can follow to get there (Pages 82 to 87)
On top of the guide itself, I’m also including five new mindset audio lessons I personally recorded recently, plus the original 10-part Master The Mindset audio lesson series I recorded when I first taught my groundbreaking Blog Mastermind program.
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No Risk Trial (30 Day Refund Guarantee)
Even if you are not sure, I suggest you download the guide and then make up your mind after you go through it.
As you will see when you click the link, I offer a 30 day refund guarantee. If it’s not for you, email me within 30 days and I will refund your money. You can even keep the bonuses regardless of your decision.
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Stay positive, focus on the process and your success is inevitable.
Yaro
Thinking Inevitable
excellent post Yaro – many often don’t talk about the softer side of things, which has a lot to do with our successes/failures. it’s really a self fulfilling prophecy in my experience, whether that is online business, offline business or general view points in life on a broader perspective
Seems to be all about the mindset….thanks for the post! Have a great day on purpose!
So many great quotes in this post.
My favorite is — “You don’t just tell yourself you will succeed, you have to know the principles you are working from work. They are proven laws, which many other people have already used and succeeded with. Your belief comes from knowing the process works and is reinforced every day as you slowly build up the conditions required for success.” — Brilliant
– – Mindset + Action = Proven Results
Yaro-
Very interesting… thank you. There is one word in this article that makes the whole concept of success different for me. “Inevitable.” Instead of setting a goal and asking, “what do I have to do to achieve the goal?” using the word inevitable is exciting – what do I have to do to make that goal inevitable? That question alone is so wholly optimistic that it doesn’t leave room for pessimism. Awesome. Thank you.
Natalie
An incredible post and a powerful concept. Now, just to apply it to my own life, and my new goals!
Yaro, you are an inspiration…..
I agree with you. What you think is what you become. I just read through James Allen’s book “As a Man Thinketh” for inspiration this week. Thanks for helping us keep right thinking and a good perspective!
Thank you for the inspiration Yaro, This morning I had been feeling down yet your post has turned me around and now I am focused again on the original outcome, It is only time before the inevitable success comes my way!
Hi Yaro,
thanks for this great article.
hope you enjoyed watching Roger Federer win his 7th Wimbledon & 17th Grand Slam!!
His story is a great example of Thinking Inevitable. 🙂
Alison
As always, a TERRIFIC post, Yaro!
The flip side to what you are describing, i.e., how we view ourselves etc, is how others view us. I’d like to share one of the most motivational stories I have come across. It is in a great book “How I Raised Myself from Failure to Success” by Frank Bettger. If you go to Amazon, you can go to this book, click on “Search Inside This Book” option, and read, for free, the section in the beginning “How One Idea Multiplied My Income and Happiness.” It’s just a couple pages, but just amazing. He tells a story how early in his career he got kicked out of a baseball team, and how he turned it around right away by just one change that didn’t even take much effort or training or education. He eventually became one of the very top sales people. Well, I am no Frank Bettger 🙂 I’ll let you read and enjoy his story.
I actually implemented Frank Bettger’s idea in various areas of my life, e.g., in my interactions with men and also in work, with dramatic positive results. With people I have known, some would even stare at me and ask what ever happened in my life that I seem so different – in a positive way.
This is my first comment in here, but i found your comment so important to me, that i had to thank you for sharing Frank Bettger`s book. I have read that chapter and it stroke a cord deep inside, the poem alone was worth the read. Thank you Olga.
Olga, I too have to thank you for introducing me to Frank Bettger’s book! I went straight to Amazon and read that first chapter… so inspiring and something that I KNOW from experience is true, but often to we need reminding of these things, just like he did when he moved from baseball to sales. Thanks a million for posting 🙂
This is a fabulous post! I had never heard of the idea of inevitability thinking before—but it has definitely got my attention now. This is such a great approach! And I think it is a great answer to all the questions surrounding the approach taken by the Law of Attraction, which I have always had a hard time getting my mind around. Thank you—this is good!
Sometimes it’s about making our narrative of the things that happen in our lives. The stories we tell ourselves about our experiences can affect how we feel about ourselves and the world; re-telling a bad story into one of empowerment can change our perspective.
You cannot fail, if you start small, get the model right, without incurring large fixed or variable costs.
Every thing we do seems to be based on our perspective and attitude etc. Have a great day on purpose!
Hi Yaro, great post. Your thinking connects quite well to mine. Beside setting up my blog, I’m an active meditator. I meditate since 2002 thus I have some experience. I only say some because meditation is on ongoing self development.
May be it might be worth mentioning the 3 conditions which will determine an outcome of our self-actions. These are 1. impermanence, 2. suffering and 3. the non-self. I myself still have problems accepting that things in this world are impermanent. But I know, by just saying “knowing, knowing, knowing” in my meditation that these things or hindrances can be overcome. Suffering is often an outcome of our own unthoughtful or stupid actions. This also can be overcome or reduced by accepting things is they are, rather then going against everything. The non-self seems to be the hardest, but this too can be accepted. What is the non-self actually? These are things which happen outside your own control. They’re things which you can’t control, even if you want it. Something like your coffee machine breaks down or your hard disk suddenly crashes. Then there’s an other thing: We are often a playground ourselves to outside forces. It means we are too much attached to the outside world. We are too worried what other people think of us. This in turn will influence our thinking of ourselves.
Since I meditate a lot, I can keep all these negative forces on a distance.
3 months ago I set up my own blog about “music arranging”. I know that the keywords are not really money keywords. My traffic isn’t really great and I only have a few subscribers. I don’t really mind. I enjoying writing my posts and I feel I could write forever about this topic, which in turn give my self confidence.
I don’t care too much about other similar “music arranging” blogs. It doesn’t throw me of. Its something to learn from and may be later I could team up with one of those blogs.
So my message to other bloggers who are just starting out is do what you’re most skilled in and enjoy at the some time. When you’re content with what you have written, that already a good sign. Just study things one at the time instead of taking too much food on your fork and choking yourself. Now that seems easy to say. No, it isn’t since I’m living on a minimum income and have to take care of my wife and two children. So of course I’m shooting to get my
content monetized at the end. That’s what we’re all shooting for. To get our freaking financial conditions improved. “Yes, this will happen”. Even when I’m not totally confident in saying these words yet. Be confident with your self, your way to success might be an extensive journey. Mine certainly is.
Hope to be of help in this ever changing world,
Hans
Yaro, you have no idea how this article resonated with me. I have suffered from anxiety and panic attacks since childhood. One of the reasons I got into Internet Marketing was because I wanted something I could do at home, because my anxiety problems and panic attacks make it hard to have a regular job. I went into this totally clueless but have learned an incredible amount from a course I took and from people like you.
It has been a hard road and I still have so much to learn. I still lose my confidence and get very down about my progress at times, but am learning to stop my negative thinking, much like you talked about. Finding this particular article tonight was like finding a gem. Thank you for sharing things about your life with us. It gives me much needed renewed enthusiasm and hope. You are so super!
For what the self-talk is concerned, indeed sometimes talking positive can feel like lying to yourself. Also when using positive self-talk like afirmations, your subconsiouss can say something like:
‘Who are you kidding…?’
While when you for example ask yourself the question:
‘Why am I such a Successful Internet Marketeer?’
It’s not easy for your brain to – not – come up with all kinds of great answers that can actually make you feel like a Successul Internet Marketeer.
For example coming up with answers like…,
Because:
1) Now because of reading this comment you became so curious that you want to rush over to have a look and read blogposts.
2) You like reading the blogposts so much that you want to bookmark the blog(s).
3) You are so enthousiastic about them that you want to share them with all your friends.
4) You want to buy lot’s of the Products offered.
etc. etc.
‘O.K. especially that last one (Nr. 4)
might have scared you off a little’ 🙂
I know because I did some actual – testing –, and discovered that up till now, nowbody became curious enough because of reading this Comment to actually visit my blog to read blogposts, bookmark it etc. etc.
Not exactly something that can help feed an Optimistic Attitude, although you did have a look at my blog because of reading some of the other Comments I wrote on some of Yaro’s other posts, like for example the posts about: B2B, Enthousiasm, Favorite Passive Income Methods, Testing Copy etc. etc.
‘Euh…, btw. talking about Testing Copy….,’
How about visiting my blog now? Just to see if I made a Positive enough Adjustment with this Comment.
Yaro, I just finished reading the Master Your Mindset. Excellent resource! You have an easy-to-read writing style that explains principles and application succinctly and clearly.
That is great to hear Eileen – that e-guide is not my best selling one, but it’s the one I think people should read the most. Everything is about mindset.
Yaro
Great post!thank you for reminding me that all i need is to be positive. I need to believe in my blog and throw all my fears and negativity away. Being positive is a step closer to my blog being successful. Thank You!
Enjoyed the article and i am very glad i read it . I myself am beginning my career as a Wellness Coach after being a PT and wanting to start a blog so the guidance from you on using the same mindset that i teach clients for my new roles is great . Also aligns well with a book ” Mindset ” by Carole S Dweck i have just read about the ability to grow from a Fixed to a Growth Mindset.
Thanks
Cam
Yaro, excellent article! I appreciate that you are sharing your real feelings and hesitations with the audience… Business nowadays should be personal and yours is a perfect example of one! A looot of value in one page. Thanks!
Yaro, also, when I click on “order a complete package”, I get “404 error” page. I think it’s open only to registered users? Sasha
Try again Sasha – we moved servers right around when you were trying to view the page.
Yaro
Yaro – completely agree with this article. Often when you experience failure, it is hard to stay positive but it is quite important to continue to believe in yourself.
I love the concept of inevitable outcomes and I believe if you think that the outcome is possible and you will get there one day, then you will!
Great article! This really matches up quite well to what I was reading today about specific positive affirmations and their effect on reticular activation to lead to greater success.
Just as Inevitability Thinking isn’t blind, using the specific positive affirmations as a tool to engage and focus a particular reticular activation (I’m not trying to rap here… sorry!) is the key to being more positive overall.
Thanks for the insight Yaro!
Thank you Yaro for a great Post. You’re such a blessing.